"You're still young, you can have more."

After Lilly died, I quit my first job. I was working with mentally and physically handicapped adults. One of my co workers asked me if I was coming into work the day I was delivering her (I was supposed to be on maturity leave). That was okay. She didn't know I had stopped working the week before.  Then, one of my managers asked me to work on the day of her funeral- after I had informed them of what had happened and what days I would be gone. That, and I was supposed to be ON MATERNITY LEAVE! Gah... I worked for them for over two years and that's how they treated me. Made me so mad.

So I quit. And now I work for a new company. I'm an in home caregiver for the elderly and the handicapped. I love it. I still get paid to do service, and I get to listen to their stories as I work. My least favorite part? Not knowing how they will react when I tell them that my one and only baby has died. Here's how the conversation normally goes:

"Are you married?"

"Yep! Just over two years now."

"Oh, now wonderful! Do you have any children?"

And this is where it gets interesting....

"Yes and no? I've a daughter who recently passed away, so yes I have a child, but none living."

They always ask how she died, so I tell them that she died shortly before she was born, that it was a cord accident. And then they do one of two things- they either express their condolences, or they say "oh, well, that's okay I guess. You're still young, you can have more."

Uhm, excuse me? My baby dies, and you tell me that I can have more? While that may be possible, it might also not be. It's like you're treating my child like a dog. "Oh your puppy died, but don't worry, you can get another." To me, that's pretty messed up. She's my CHILD. Not some pet that I can replace.